I can hear you now! “Whaaaat? A post before Valentine’s? Amaaaazing!”…Not funny, ok?
Saturday evening I was looking around on
which is a K-Love affiliation dedicated to women and their growth as women in the body of Christ. On that page, I found a link to another site basically doing the same thing, except targeted at twenty-something women trying to find their place and their calling in His service. The ministry is called
Every Monday they put up an inspirational entry about God’s faithfulness and then on Thursdays they do vid check-ins–sort of like a follow-up to the inspirational entry. I read last week’s whenever I first found the site and this morning, I read this week’s. I plan to comment but I wanted to write here first about it.
This week’s entry tells a story about a young woman who lives in an in-between town:
Here, we are southern enough to say “y’all” and “fixin’ to” but northern enough to get an Oklahoma winter. Here, we live in the tension between the old ways and the up-and-coming. Here, we pave over cornfields to put in another bank. We push back countryside north and north and north again, thousands of houses spilling over into the openness.
The entry goes on to talk about this being a new year–a new slate whiped clean, upon which anything might be written. She says:
And yet, here I find myself, somewhere in between last year and this one. Somewhere in between child and adult. Somewhere in between redemption and glory.
I am a somewhere-in-between girl. Somewhere-in-between finishing college and beginning a career. Somewhere-in-between spiritual hurt and healing.
When we are at a somewhere-in-between place, we want to hold onto the old because we don’t really know what the new will hold. We ask ourselves if God can really pull us through and get us to where we want to go. We wonder where we will be in five years; in ten. Will we be married or divorced? Will we be a college graduate or will we have dropped out for some reason? Will we be raising children? Where will we be living? Will we have gained weight or lost it?
In all of these questions, the underlying feeling is fear of the unknown. Can we give that fear to Him and let Him carry us through?
It really made me think about how I personally handle my somewhere-in-between places. When I wasn’t sure whether or not I’d get into Miami, I was nervous about taking the apartment. Whenever I wasn’t sure about whether or not I’d get the job at Teleperformance, I didn’t know if I wanted to quit BLIND Inc. Whenever I wasn’t sure where we would end up or how we would manage financially, I worried about quitting college and turning in all of my equipment in Daytona before moving to Minneapolis. Whenever I wasn’t sure if things would work between Rebecca and I, I was afraid of moving to Florida.
You get the point. I was nervous. Afraid. Unsure. A lot of that time I wasn’t actually walking with God, but since quitting BLIND Inc I have been and even when I have known that God would be there to carry me through, I’ve still held onto the known longer than I should. I’ve been afraid to reach out for the unknown because I didn’t want to find that it was worse (somehow) than what I already had.
I want to make a commitment here and now to trust God more. I want to set an example for those who choose to use me as a role-model. What good am I as a role-model if I’m ignoring the very things I am learning?
I pray that anyone reading these words here today would just see you through me. I pray that you would just touch them and that they would hear you; know your presence. Father I beg your forgiveness for not always giving my worries over to you. Father, I know that whenever I am somewhere-in-between, you will lead and guide me if I will only let you. Father, I pray, that you will help me to make my heart more receptive to your leadership and guidance. I thank you Father, for your love and your mercy and pray that I show the same to others every day.
In Jesus’ name I do so pray,